Sunday, June 12, 2011

3 going on 83

Jack's latest string of excuses at bedtime. I am not making this up. I just couldn't even come up with the random assortment of reasons why he needs to delay falling asleep. I have taken the liberty of estimating the average age of someone who utters these phrases.

1: My eyeball hurts (85)
2: My back hurts (73)
3: The smoke detector is beeping (PS it wasn't) (3 or a deaf 78 year old-your choice)
4: My shoes aren't in the closet (3)
5: You left the closet door open when you put the shoes away (3)
6: I picked the wrong CD and need to put in different music (3)
7: I'm wearing the wrong pajamas (3)
8: I have to play two more levels because I am about to beat this game (18)

Preparing Jack's bed for his bedtime is an elaborate ritual in and of itself. I am quite certain that with just a quick glance even a novice psychologist would conclude that the bed belongs to someone with a raging case of OCD. Let me be clear. Jack does not have OCD, but like many other almost three year olds, needs his surroundings to be a certain way. The right pajamas need to be worn, his pieces of flair (IE: 42 stuffed animals) need to be appropriately arranged, the right amount of tissues need to be present and easily locatable, his sippy cup must be full of water, pillow appropriately fluffed, closets shut, door to the room open, books in alphabetical order arranged by category. Ok, so I made that last one up, but you get the idea. I'll give him points for creativity but that's about it.

According to my latest mathematical calculations and based on his average use of the above excuses my best estimate is that Jack is actually 104.

What excuses from your little one drive you nuts?

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